And in the Beginning...aka Today.

I am lying here in the bed at 5:30am not pregnant.  It is enough to make me howl with tears and want to take a header into the Potomac. Why do plans not work when you really need them to work? Was it not a good plan? I will spell it out so that you can be the judge -

Find a willing sperm donor.
Have him give me the goods while I am ovulating...(whenever that fucking magic day with rainbows occurs.)
Let the little spermies soak into my womb seeking to pop lock into my lone Stella like egg.
Voila pregnant in 2010 before December & my 39th birthday!
Delivery of my new bundle of love & heartache before Summer 2011.
Between breastfeeding, strict diet, and exercise be swimsuit ready by October 2011.
November would be packed with shopping, visiting relatives, writing baby instructions, making sure my child is secure in the college dorm, finding the dog a place to squat while I am away, and finalizing plans for my two week love romp on the Fijian Islands!
Waking up on my Fortieth Birthday in Fiji!


But what happens - no pop lock into my Stella...not pregnant - again.  But hey it is only August so I need to ramp it up and get some medical help before the end of the month so I can try to get my egg & some young healthy sperm to do the damn Cha Cha Slide! Hands on your knees, hands on your knees - turn it out!

So until the next time wish me pregnant and Fiji and I'll do the same for you!