What Happens to a Dream Deferred...

What happens to a dream deferred? I can only tell you about my dream. Wow a ton of things have happened or not happened depending on how you look at it. The job that I was working faithfully, loyally, and on call for 24 hours a day - 7 days a week while dealing with racism, hostile working conditions, and hiding affairs - I was laid off with no severance. I didn't get unemployment for 3 months because of a problem with said company's reporting of my wages. Just like that 8 years of loyalty poured down the drain. I have learned a valuable lesson - trust no employer as a friend who will look out for you as much as you look out for them. 
I have not been pregnant since I started the blog or had a baby. My daughter is in college and I think she got her wish - my eggs may have dried up..
I will not be waking up 40 in Fiji. I will be going to Fiji two full days after my Birthday only after Maurice paid for me to still be able to afford the trip.  But guess what - I AM STILL GOING!


A Dream Deferred
By Langston Hughes


What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load. Or does it explode? 

I am still very happy to be going to Fiji, happy to be just the cousin of a new born gorgeous baby boy, happy to have some money in my pocket, and happy to be alive!  

Wild & Wacky December!

I have not been able to take a moment to write a thing until today.  I have been traveling, partying, making new decisions, contemplating mergers, and not being pregnant.  While in Jamaica having this year's birthday blow out I realized that having my daughter about to leave home for college makes my desire to have another child strong but also makes me think that I may just be trying to fill the hole that she is going to leave when she leaves.  I will be making some hard choices over the next few months about this baby thing.  For the most part I have decided to let go and let God so to speak, you know just go with the flow.  I am not going to think about ovulating, periods, fertility, baby daddies, or strong swimmers. Just live and... PLAN MY AWESOME TRIP TO FIJI!

People have paid their deposits and worked on room assignments.  We are set in motion my friends.  I am looking to have money to pay off the flight February 1st and the entire trip by September 1st. Yay Alesha! I am scoping out websites to see all that Fiji has to offer because I plan to take full advantage of everything BUT swimming with the sharks.  I am starting to work out to get this body bathing suit ready! I will be walking, Wii'ing, water aerobicing, and belly dancing my way into sexy baby.  I am researching the awesome tattoo I am going to get on the sexy body while in Fiji.  I have even contemplated cutting my hair & growing all new 2011 hair for the new me....maybe I'll just get a good trim. LOL. I have been thinking about all the awesomeness that a new year can bring and having this super trek makes my butt tingle with excitement. 

I will be looking for a true Fijian experience so if any of you know people or organizations in Fiji that I can speak with please send me info - alesha_martin1@yahoo.com. Please have Awesome Fijian Love Trip as the subject.  Nothing too physically taxing because at the end of the day I am still a lay-on-the-beacher with a cool drink type of person BUT send those suggestions anyway. 

This week I will be searching for information on the dancing and mating rituals (if any) for traditional Fijians.

Let me begin the beguine...