What Happens to a Dream Deferred...

What happens to a dream deferred? I can only tell you about my dream. Wow a ton of things have happened or not happened depending on how you look at it. The job that I was working faithfully, loyally, and on call for 24 hours a day - 7 days a week while dealing with racism, hostile working conditions, and hiding affairs - I was laid off with no severance. I didn't get unemployment for 3 months because of a problem with said company's reporting of my wages. Just like that 8 years of loyalty poured down the drain. I have learned a valuable lesson - trust no employer as a friend who will look out for you as much as you look out for them. 
I have not been pregnant since I started the blog or had a baby. My daughter is in college and I think she got her wish - my eggs may have dried up..
I will not be waking up 40 in Fiji. I will be going to Fiji two full days after my Birthday only after Maurice paid for me to still be able to afford the trip.  But guess what - I AM STILL GOING!


A Dream Deferred
By Langston Hughes


What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load. Or does it explode? 

I am still very happy to be going to Fiji, happy to be just the cousin of a new born gorgeous baby boy, happy to have some money in my pocket, and happy to be alive!  

Back up Plan...

I went on-line today to see what would happen if my time line was skewed a bit. Would I be able to take a newborn to Fiji...well yep. It started me to thinking about all the activities that have been recommended to me and out of all of those things what I might actually do there. Honestly, I do not think I will get up to any snorkeling, diving, hiking, whale watching, backpacking in a hostile, or any major sightseeing. Because you see ladies and gents I am a world class loafer. There I said it.  All I want is a nice beach, hammock, blazing hot sun, cool drink,  grilled food, tunes on my iPod, and nice blue water. That's it - that's all.  I don't know why I am not like my baby brother Tony. Tony loves to get into the ass of a country. He likes to find out the what, when, how, why, and who started that shit. He takes lots of pictures, writes about the people/places,  videos, and sees all the must sees...not me. I just relax like a turtle on a rock. I talk to the people of course but I rarely remember to pull out the camera, when asked how was the trip I say great, and will take a nap over a hike through the streets of any town any day. And I am not ashamed! People like Tony find the great places to lay for people like me - God bless him.  Don't get me wrong I don't need to eat American food, only see American shows, and a point/nod/smile beats talking any day but I do not like a set agenda. I go on vacation to get away from schedules not to trade it in for a new island schedule.  I work in staffing - we schedule son. So hey call me a beach bum - I'll drink to that! SO if the baby (that I am not pregnant with yet) needs to come to Fiji - then the baby comes to Fiji.  I is not tripping man. Now run tell that.

Random Fijian baby picture but isn't she cute?!

I WANT ONE OF THESE!!

Still thinking about trying and praying....but not pregnant.

Proposed Pregnancy Proposal! Yay....

Ladies & Gentleman drum roll please....someone wants to knock me up!! AND he is marginally sane! I was in conversation today with someone from my past that wants me to have what I want... He wants to give me a baby & not be crazy about it. We are supposed to chat about the details because he wants to do it the old fashioned way but I have high hopes! HOLLA!!!!!

I am closer to my dream.... even if he is opposed to the cup I may just....