What Happens to a Dream Deferred...

What happens to a dream deferred? I can only tell you about my dream. Wow a ton of things have happened or not happened depending on how you look at it. The job that I was working faithfully, loyally, and on call for 24 hours a day - 7 days a week while dealing with racism, hostile working conditions, and hiding affairs - I was laid off with no severance. I didn't get unemployment for 3 months because of a problem with said company's reporting of my wages. Just like that 8 years of loyalty poured down the drain. I have learned a valuable lesson - trust no employer as a friend who will look out for you as much as you look out for them. 
I have not been pregnant since I started the blog or had a baby. My daughter is in college and I think she got her wish - my eggs may have dried up..
I will not be waking up 40 in Fiji. I will be going to Fiji two full days after my Birthday only after Maurice paid for me to still be able to afford the trip.  But guess what - I AM STILL GOING!


A Dream Deferred
By Langston Hughes


What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load. Or does it explode? 

I am still very happy to be going to Fiji, happy to be just the cousin of a new born gorgeous baby boy, happy to have some money in my pocket, and happy to be alive!  

The Fijian Food

I have decided to get into the spirit of my Fortieth Birthday Love Explosion I need to sample some Fijian food.  I have scoured the internet looking for a Fijian restaurant in the Washington Metropolitan area.  Guess what? NADA! You can find recipes and pictures of Fijian dishes but not one restaurant in the area. So I guess I will have to try my hand at making some of the recipes... I am not the greatest cook or the most patient person.  I have been known to freestyle with recipe ingredients but I am going to really give this the discipline it calls for so that I may prepare my palette. Yes, I said palette.  Some of the dishes sound perfectly delicious.  They have bibingka (also a popular Filipino dish) which is a kind of bread made with cassava, coconut cream, sugar, egg, and cheese. These ingredients are mixed and topped with a little extra grated cheese then baked. The Fijians usually bake this at night and serve it for breakfast in the morning. Doesn't it sound scrumptious? They also have this topping or sauce for seafood that sounds yummy as well, it is called miti. Miti is thick coconut cream combined with onions, chillies, juice from a lemon, salt and pepper. I am salivating here. Some of the dishes sound like something that is more of an acquired taste but I am willing to give them a shot as well. Take coconut fish soup a soup made up of fish carcass&heads, coconut cream (of course,) chillies, lemon slices, and water.. sounds like something. Other dishes sound like meals I do not even want to try at all. Kokoda which is a Fijian spicy fish curry.  It is a served cold and the fish is raw. Not digging that at all.

I am going to start making the dishes that I am feeling this week and I will let you all know how they taste...but not the kokoda because I am NOT eating that dish. There is a dessert I am going to eat - coconut balls..

Wild & Wacky December!

I have not been able to take a moment to write a thing until today.  I have been traveling, partying, making new decisions, contemplating mergers, and not being pregnant.  While in Jamaica having this year's birthday blow out I realized that having my daughter about to leave home for college makes my desire to have another child strong but also makes me think that I may just be trying to fill the hole that she is going to leave when she leaves.  I will be making some hard choices over the next few months about this baby thing.  For the most part I have decided to let go and let God so to speak, you know just go with the flow.  I am not going to think about ovulating, periods, fertility, baby daddies, or strong swimmers. Just live and... PLAN MY AWESOME TRIP TO FIJI!

People have paid their deposits and worked on room assignments.  We are set in motion my friends.  I am looking to have money to pay off the flight February 1st and the entire trip by September 1st. Yay Alesha! I am scoping out websites to see all that Fiji has to offer because I plan to take full advantage of everything BUT swimming with the sharks.  I am starting to work out to get this body bathing suit ready! I will be walking, Wii'ing, water aerobicing, and belly dancing my way into sexy baby.  I am researching the awesome tattoo I am going to get on the sexy body while in Fiji.  I have even contemplated cutting my hair & growing all new 2011 hair for the new me....maybe I'll just get a good trim. LOL. I have been thinking about all the awesomeness that a new year can bring and having this super trek makes my butt tingle with excitement. 

I will be looking for a true Fijian experience so if any of you know people or organizations in Fiji that I can speak with please send me info - alesha_martin1@yahoo.com. Please have Awesome Fijian Love Trip as the subject.  Nothing too physically taxing because at the end of the day I am still a lay-on-the-beacher with a cool drink type of person BUT send those suggestions anyway. 

This week I will be searching for information on the dancing and mating rituals (if any) for traditional Fijians.

Let me begin the beguine...

 

Just Can't Wait!

Oh my, oh my, oh my! I can barely wait until next year for my trip.  Every time a client snaps, a co-worker trips, or my child pouts I think of the private burr on the beach.  When the world gets crazy I think of a full bowl of kava tea. As the men in my life revert back to boys I visualize the mud bath and spa. Oh my I hope to make it to the beautiful Fijian Islands before I snap!

The blue waters, white sand, colorful fish, vibrant fragrant flowers, and relaxed people are what I long for today.  Not Calgon baths, ciroc&tonics, cold winds, or gray skies of Washington, DC. Ugh.  Maybe I will take a mini trip to Jamaica to hold me over until I can get to Fiji next year....

Kelly- can you help me?

www.travelworksmd.com

Today is my Asia's Birthday!

My daughter Asia is 17 years old today! This has nothing to do with Fiji or having another child just Asia.  I loved her before I ever saw her face.  As often as she makes me angry she makes me smile. When she was 3 or 4 years old she came up to me and said Mommy my name is not Asia anymore - call me Princess Wanda. I laughed until I cried. She is stubborn, arrogant, smartmouthed, selfish, and loud. She is also intelligent, gorgeous, compassionate, talented, friendly, quick-witted, sweet, kind, and has an impeccable sense of comedic timing. I love her.

I have always called her Boochie Butt and often just my Boochie. One day she started rubbing my aunt April's face saying "My Boochie, my boochie. She's the queen of my heart, I just can't stand it." We laughed until we were sore but to Asia I say You are my Boochie the Queen of my heart.

Your Mommy,
Alesha

Fijian Tattoo..to tat or not to tat - that is the question...

While reading up on all things Fiji I ran across the story of how the tattoo came to Samao.  It is said that tattoo originated in Fiji but only the women were tattooed very little and the men not at all. Two women who were goddesses of tattoo swam to Samao to implement the art there. When the were leaving they got an order to sing the whole trip "Tattoo the dames but not the guys." During the long journey they got the song confused and started singing "Tattoo the guys and not the dames." So the men of Samao got the famous tribal tattoos from Fiji.
I am thinking of getting a tattoo of a fish or a turtle while in Fiji as my fortieth year rite of passage and the symbol of my passing into a new era of Alesha. Why the turtle?  Within Polynesian and Hawaiian cultures, the turtle represents calmness and tranquility. In other cultures, the turtle can symbolize bravery, endurance, wisdom, perseverance, safety, or longevity.  Why the fish?  Within ancient times the fish was the symbol of femininity, fertility, female sexuality and power.  Also the the fish in some cultures represents endurance, abundance, perseverance, and to declare an affiliation with the Christian Faith.  When ever I see the fish I think of the sermon on the mount when Jesus fed the masses from a boys lunch of fish and loaves. This makes me feel that if you have faith and can believe in things unseen but felt you can do anything.  Now thinking about it further I may just get both.

What do you all think?  

On the baby-making front I am so, so, so, so, so confused.  So many people making suggestions, so many offers that need vetting, and a lot of thinking to do.  Relationships to end or begin. Love to make or to end. Ugh. I just want to be pregnant without a ton of other issues.  I am going to take it back to when I was a teen and just say - whatever happens, happens.  

Peace and pregnancy.

Changes involve Change...

Just got the prices back for my personal section of Fiji Fiji I Love the Thought of Fiji trip and let me say I have a had to make a decided change.  The resort prices for next year came out and boosted my trip cost by $900 if I kept everything the same. The bonus would have been a helicopter ride onto Tokoriki which sounds hell of exciting...on the phone but after thinking about it scary as hell on paper.  My brilliantly smart-assed daughter Asia asked "Do you really want to ride in a little helicopter over water filled WITH sharks?" Which made me start an hour long web search for shark bite statistics for the entire Fijian area because you never know - right? And oh boy do they have sharks aplenty! No swimming beyond the reefs for (to borrow a L.Jones saying) the K.I.D. They have tiger sharks, nurse sharks, silver, white, & black tipped reef sharks, lemon sharks, big ass bull sharks, gray reef sharks and the occasional Great white shark decides to have a Fijian vacation as well.  It has been said the tiger sharks are notorious for taking nips out of swimmers, divers, and surfers in Hawaiian waters - whew. I am glad they don't go for the waders, loafers, and general beach bummers! I would be in serious shark trouble if they liked lazy meat.  I am also slightly fascinated by the names of these sharks. What does a nurse shark look like actually? Is it gray with a little white nurses cap on? Does a bull shark have horns and a nose ring? Are silver tipped reef sharks high post? And aren't most sharks gray? Hmmm...  There is a company called AquaTrek that operate a shark dive on shark reef that people pay money for?! With a guy that they call the "shark whisperer." No bull..shark - for reals. I would like to watch from a nice safe seat on the couch in front of the tv or on the deck of a boat in a comfy lounger as it goes down but not from the water surrounded by the hungry man-eaters. I am not going on the helicopter ride or the shark expedition my friends. Not Alesha.

But I am going to change resorts.  I am now staying at the Malolo Island Resort. According to the sixth edition of the Malolo Sun, "Malolo Island Fiji is a jewel in the crown of the archipelago known as the Mamanuca Islands. Situated 25 kilometres/16 Miles from Fiji’s International Airport. Malolo is a paradise of seclusion and rejuvenation - with golden coral sand beaches, azure seas, panoramic views and wonderful air-conditioned accommodation and facilities."  I am still not sure if the change will be a good thing... Tokoriki is one of the furthest islands away from the main island of Viti Levu in the Mamanuca Island group and Malolo is closer to Viti Levu.  What to do, what to do?  Also Malolo allows children and Tokoriki is adults only. So does that mean Love & Happiness will have to stay inside the swimsuit on this portion of my trip? Will they not get to receive the full sun rays on my fortieth birthday? Hmm.. I will have to really think about whether or not I am going to pull a JanetJackson wardrobe malfunction or keep the girls under wraps.

On the pregnancy front - no dice. Not pregnant but still hopeful and blessed as more offers to impregnate me come down the pike.  Short, tall, dark, light, big, and little they keep coming.  Crazy, sane, brilliant, not so bright, and average brained they keep coming. But all of them want to have "relations" (quoting R.Lassiter.) No cup donor offers...oh well sex is good. So I just might meet the deadline after all.

Peace and pregnancy.