Back up Plan...

I went on-line today to see what would happen if my time line was skewed a bit. Would I be able to take a newborn to Fiji...well yep. It started me to thinking about all the activities that have been recommended to me and out of all of those things what I might actually do there. Honestly, I do not think I will get up to any snorkeling, diving, hiking, whale watching, backpacking in a hostile, or any major sightseeing. Because you see ladies and gents I am a world class loafer. There I said it.  All I want is a nice beach, hammock, blazing hot sun, cool drink,  grilled food, tunes on my iPod, and nice blue water. That's it - that's all.  I don't know why I am not like my baby brother Tony. Tony loves to get into the ass of a country. He likes to find out the what, when, how, why, and who started that shit. He takes lots of pictures, writes about the people/places,  videos, and sees all the must sees...not me. I just relax like a turtle on a rock. I talk to the people of course but I rarely remember to pull out the camera, when asked how was the trip I say great, and will take a nap over a hike through the streets of any town any day. And I am not ashamed! People like Tony find the great places to lay for people like me - God bless him.  Don't get me wrong I don't need to eat American food, only see American shows, and a point/nod/smile beats talking any day but I do not like a set agenda. I go on vacation to get away from schedules not to trade it in for a new island schedule.  I work in staffing - we schedule son. So hey call me a beach bum - I'll drink to that! SO if the baby (that I am not pregnant with yet) needs to come to Fiji - then the baby comes to Fiji.  I is not tripping man. Now run tell that.

Random Fijian baby picture but isn't she cute?!

I WANT ONE OF THESE!!

Still thinking about trying and praying....but not pregnant.

Muckety Muck!

Ahhh, the wonders of the Fijian Islands are vast and ready to be experienced by Alesha.  This weeks topic is wallowing like a pig in mud - black mud.  One of the items on the list of things to do in Fiji is getting a mud bath while on the Viti Levu island. The Sabeto Mud Pool is located in the shadow of The Sleeping Giant, a mountain range which can be seen everywhere in Nadi. This mud pool is between the major cities Nadi and Lautoka.  The process, and I am finding that it is always a process in Fiji, goes something like the following -
After you pay a small admission fee to Sabeto villagers you enter one of the geothermal mud pools. You then soak for an hour or so in the warm black mud which is rumored to have therapeutic benefits. (Concern- do you get mud in your...privates? Hmm..) Once you have finished luxuriating  in the mud like Miss Piggy you climb out and coat yourself in the thick pasty paste.  You stand in the sun to let it dry - in like a head to toe (minus your who-ha) mud pack. Then it is back in to a clean warm pool to wash off the healthy muck.  Can you say body facial ladies & gentlemen? 

Did I mention that they serve the lickey also known as alcoholic beverages?  So you get the benefits of being a kid playing in the mud while also having the advantage of being an adult of legal drinking age to enhance the experience.  Yay Grown Ups!


I am not pregnant today.  I have not done anything to be pregnant today except to pray to God to be pregnant soon... but I think God will help me after I help myself a bit - to some sperm.  Can you say fast healthy swimmers?


Peace, blessings, and pregnancy.

Proposed Pregnancy Proposal! Yay....

Ladies & Gentleman drum roll please....someone wants to knock me up!! AND he is marginally sane! I was in conversation today with someone from my past that wants me to have what I want... He wants to give me a baby & not be crazy about it. We are supposed to chat about the details because he wants to do it the old fashioned way but I have high hopes! HOLLA!!!!!

I am closer to my dream.... even if he is opposed to the cup I may just....

The Word is OUT!!!

Invitations to the show have gone out into the world. Friends and family have officially been invited to next years Love Explosion in Fiji..The evite is supposed to be top secret so shhhh. This is so the people who are not invited won't feel some kind of way then force me to feel some kind of way. I may have to say things that some will call lies like "oh. I didn't know Liz didn't invite you." or "Liz must have missed your email address from my contact list." Notice that the general theme will be that it is Liz's fault. Ha! Sorry L.I.Z. but we all must do what we must do in tough situations - blame others. 

One thing that I am really excited about besides the fact that I will be in Fiji for 14 days on a dream vacation, is the celebrated Kava Ceremonies. Let me break it down.

The Kava ceremony is a major Fijian tradition.  It starts with the visitor bringing a gift of dried kava root, which is considered a narcotic but legal, to the head of the village or village elders as a sign of respect for the community. The kava party posse will then welcome you by saying "vinaka" which is Fijian for thanks (for the herbs my man.)  You sit down on the floor in a cypher, umm, circle around the bowl (yep, bowl not cup) on a little table with everybody that is about to get it crunk. The bowl of kava is passed then refilled around the circle with these instructions - You say "Bula" clap you hands once before accepting the bowl.  If you are a sucker you can say "low tide" and they will only give you a half a bowl of liquid loc juice as opposed to "high tide" which means in the eternal words of Rick James means "Give it to me baby" a full bowl. After drinking the entire bowl of Kava in one gulp hand the bowl back to filler upper person and clap three times.  This goes on in the circle until the chief says the party is over and stops drinking.  Kava ceremonies have been known go on until the next evening - can you say two day drugjuicefest? Guess what my peoples? There is a small band playing through out the event! Good good times.

It's all so exciting but I am still not PREGNANT!! UGH!! What do I have to do?

Oh yeah - have sex.

Leg Two - An Open and Shut Case!

Wow!  Spoke with super travel agent Kelly and we will be staying at the Sonaisali Island Resort.  Now I don't want to confuse you - so let me break it down.  The first half of the Alesha's Fortieth Birthday Fijian Take Over Love Extravaganza will be spent at the Tokoriki Island Resort.  The second half of the trip Alesha's Fortieth Birthday Fijian Take Over Love Bizarre will be when friends and family join me at the Sonaisali Island Resort.  Are you still with me? Good. 

Sonaisali Island Resort

In the immortal words of Vinnie Barbarino from Welcome Back Carter fame - Can you dig it?  I knew that you could.  Now let me tell you a little about Sonaisali Island Resort.  Sonaisali is on Naisali a long low island in Momi Bay in the Mamanucas group of Fijian islands.  Naisali is surrounded by mangrove flats and is just 300 meters off the coast of Viti Levu - the largest island in the South Pacific. With large swimming pools, snorkeling, and a beautiful beach we have it made in the shade..with lemonade..as the sun fades..wearing shades..with no grenades..might as well be getting paid..in spades..cascade..blade..raid.. You get it.
We will be here for 7 days & six glorious nights! Yay Us!

Tokoriki Here I Come!

My people I have seen the promise land...at least photos of the most beautiful place on Earth - Tokoriki! This will be where I spend the first week of my trip to the Fijian Islands and where I will be spending my actual 40th birthday.  Check it out -

Tokoriki is an island within the Mamanuca Islands of Fiji in the South Pacific.  I will be staying at the Tokoriki Island resort which is one of the two resorts on Tokoriki. The island has its own reef which has awesome diving and snorkeling site.  I plan to take advantage of the snorkeling and the laying on the beachness of the island.

In other news, I am still on the prowl for a baby daddy!  What to do, what to do?  All of the men in my life are TRIPPING!  Why are they now so honorable and responsible? I know for a fact that none of them want to be married or are even half way thinking of having children.  They are willing to bang out any haggy wag (name courtesy of Maurice Harrington) in the streets not giving a good damn if they get them pregnant but when it comes to me they want to have something more meaningful than a cup and a smile?  Seriously?  They tell me all the stories of tossing it regular but will gladly throw it away before they will put it in the turkey baster for me... what does that say about me? 

That's it!  I am going to start looking on craigslist!

The Streets are Watching

You would be absolutely amazed at some of the advice... I have been getting since I have let it be known that I intend to get pregnant & go to Fiji. People are full of it.  Samples -
You shouldn't go to Fiji - you should go to Bermuda.
Why would you want to start all over again? Get another dog.
You should just have a big party at a club for your birthday.
Adopt a teenager because there are so many without a home. You don't really want a baby.
Fiji?! Why not Paris?
WHAT THE EFF?! It is my fortieth birthday not yours. You can go wherever you want, get a pet if you want, and party at the club - I have my plan.
As far as adoption do not get me wrong who knows I may just down the line but for now I want the full experience again. Who cares that I will be changing pampers again? I think that what I will get out of it is so much bigger than poopypants.

In reference to Fiji - I want to spend that birthday week alone with Alesha.  I love her and want to pamper her for making it forty years. I plan to do me...not in a freaky way but maybe - Self love is the best love.
Stay safe.